Top 10 Law Firm Interview Questions

A friend forwarded me this yesterday and since I'm still feeling the blues from my job hunting, I'm sharing this with you guys...And since obviously this was written from a male perspective, there are some questions that DOESN'T apply to yours truly!

One of the worst experiences in law school has been the ritual of
submitting applications for summer employment and then going through a
series of 20-minute screening interviews that would put a marine drill
sergeant to shame when it comes to humiliating and dehumanizing you.
Here are my top-ten (least) favorite questions, and how I actually
answered them as opposed to how I would have liked to answer them.



1. Why are you interested in this firm?



What I said: Your firm handled (insert name of case I read on their
website) which I found to be exciting because it was just like another
case I was reading in this class I got an A in. I've also asked some
(read: none) upper class-men about your office and they said it's a
great work environment.



What I thought:
I looked through your attorney roster and saw that you hire people who
do not appear to have any honors and come from bad law schools. That
made me think that I have a chance to work here.



2. Why did you go to law school?



What I said: I went to law school because I want to be able to make a
difference. Legal work allows me to be competitive and to work for
justice, both of which are important things in my life.



What I thought: That's a good question, and I ask myself it daily. I'd have to say the answer is, stupidity.



3. Do you think your grades are an accurate reflection of the kind of work you will do as an attorney?



What I said: Law school has been a challenge, and I think my grades
reflect that. More important than my grades, which by the way have
steadily improved over my academic career, is my dedication to the work
I do. My performance during my summer jobs is the best indicator of how
I will work, and you will find that my previous employers were all
pleased with me (or at least forgot who I am and so will not remember
the fuck ups).



What I thought:
My grades are absolutely a good reflection of how I will work. I will
put in the minimum amount of effort needed to not get fired, and I will
approach my job with contempt and disinterest.



4. What would you say is your greatest weakness?



What I said: My greatest weakness is that I get too personally involved
with my work. For instance, when I am working on trial prep, and then
the case settles favorably, I feel as though it should have gone to
trial anyway, despite knowing that the settlement is what's best for
our firm and our client.



What I thought:
Pussy. If there are any females in your office, you can be certain I
will work twice as hard to get into their pants as I will to make my
billables. And yes, since you require us to bill 1,900 hours, that
means I will be sexually harassing my co-workers 3,800 hours a year.



5. Tell us about a recent mistake that you have made.



What I said: I accidentally misfiled a case at work that was set to go
to trial the next week. As soon as I realized this, I alerted my
supervisor and disaster was averted.



What I thought:
An even bigger mistake I've made has been wasting 20 minutes of my life
in this interview instead of taking a dump, that would have been much
more satisfying and productive.



6. What do you do for fun?



What I said: I enjoy jogging, skydiving, and traveling to exotic countries.



What I thought:
When I really want to have fun, I grab my "Big Butt Sluts # 24" DVD, a
bottle of Bourbon, and a bottle of lube. By the end of the night, both
bottles are empty, and my room smells like jizz and puke.



7. Tell us about your style of leadership.



What I said: I lead by taking the initiative and working proactively with my peers to come up with solutions.



What I thought:
I lead by playing "The Eye of the Tiger" on a boombox while pounding my
fist on the table and shouting insults. (It works, I've done it)



8. If you don't get hired by this firm, what will you do?



What I said: I will analyze what I could have done better during the
interview and take that knowledge with me into my next interview with
[rival firm name].



What I thought:
I will breath a sigh of relief that I won't be working for an asshole
like you. Or I will stalk you and slit your throat. I haven't decided
yet.



9. Do you have any questions for us?



What I said: Will I have a key so that I can come in and work on the weekends?



What I thought: Will I have a key so that I can come in and have sex with my girl friend on my desk on the weekends?



10. We value creativity among our associates. With that in mind, what kind of plant would you be, and why?



What I said: I would be a tree, because they are tall, strong, and live a long life.



What I thought: I would be a tree, so that I could fall on you and kill you

Original URL: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/273595054.html